Dear _ _ _,

I know that look.
Those tired eyes give it away.
I was invited to your council meeting to see if I could help you and your church, but I remained silent. You may be wondering why.
You see before I came to your meeting I prayed that God would hold my tongue, and He did.
I came to listen to the noise. You have been through so much with the dismissal of your pastor, the reduction of your attendance and then of course your income. The search for a new pastor is always one of the toughest choices a church body has to make. It seems that lines have formed, those who support the young youth director who is full of life and wants to take the church in a direction your just not sure about, and another man who comes from a different denomination but offers a slightly more traditional background.
As with most meetings you have the onlookers who want to offer their advice, the two young men who spoke in favor of the youth director taking the senior pastor role were very convincing, although what I thought I heard them say was that if the youth director was not given the position (or someone like him, I thought that was a nice touch) they would have to look at another church.
Interesting.
I will tell you a story from my youth. There was a corner lot we used to play football. We, being young men, of course played tackle football, and it got rough at times. One of my friends had a new Nerf football. Now today that seems like no big deal, but for the poor area I grew up in a Nerf football was something new. Now my friend had this habit of getting upset when he played and before long his anger would grow until he grabbed the football, went home to his front porch and rocked in his rocking chair for all of us to see, the Nerf football safely placed on his porch.
My point is this, what it sounds like to me is if you don't hire the guy I want (or someone like him) I'm taking my bright orange football home and you will have to live with the fact I'm at some other church blessing them with my attendance.
I heard some voices of reason, I heard some voices of fear, I heard pain. I wanted just to listen and watch as that meeting ground along.
But what really caught my eye was your face. That tired expression and those eyes. Those very tired eyes.
After the meeting I made it a point to speak to you. I wanted to encourage you and I wish to do that again now.
Keep your head up. Keep smiling. There will be happiness again. Do NOT hire anyone without some serious prayer time and more meetings with your leaders. Meet away from the church and away from any candidates. Speak open and honestly with each other about the direction you feel God moving the church. Then and only then can you select the right candidate.
Don't let anyone who threatens to leave bother you. You are NEVER going to make everybody happy so don't even try. If they leave, they leave. Send them away with love and move on. They will be happier and you will be happier for it.
_ _ _, I have sat in your chair and I know how you feel. You just want it to end. Hire somebody, anybody, just take this load off of me. Don't give in to that feeling. Be patient, have faith, and watch God work.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Tom